Home From Abroad - Reverse Culture Shock

Home.

Jetlag, let’s talk about it. Not only was I jetlagged but my schedule was completely backwards. I also feel closer to those I left behind in the U.K. so it is hard for me to find the willpower or inspiration to change my schedule when it makes it more difficult for me to speak to them. Unlike my flat mates who went back to the beginnings of their next semesters and routine, I had finished my bachelor’s degree in London. I had nothing to do but complete my Gilman requirements and to find a job. These things are not the motivation you need to fix your sleeping schedule. Useless.

Reverse culture shock WRECKED me. I didn’t want to be back in the U.S. I didn’t want to get used to driving again. I didn’t want to find a job. I didn’t want to hear American accents. It was torture for weeks. I went to a very dark place and ended up seeking out a psychologist.

Culture shock is somewhat expected when you are travelling abroad but coming home and feeling it is kind of shocking. I was warned but it was nothing like what happened. I was crushed.

My only advice is to make a plan, get professional help, and don’t suffer alone. Talk to people about how you feel and ask for advice. There are ways to ease your return.

I’m involved! I found new purpose. I found a job to strive for, made a plan, and I’m volunteering with CEA as an abroad ambassador.

The Night Before Departure

Today is my last day and it is painful. The last couple of weeks I have been fighting to come up with some way to stay in this wonderful country. I have never been happier than I have been in London. The homesickness I feel is nothing in comparison to the sadness that is overwhelming me at the thought of going back to the mediocre life I left behind.



I feel, I don’t know, I suppose I feel very cosmopolitan and adult flitting from north to south London. Meeting people from all over Europe rather than from my state or other states. I feel that I have learned more in almost four months than in my entire life. My eyes have been opened to the narrowness that Americans live in. Granted I do not believe that it is necessarily our fault that we think this way. The United States is huge. Travelling toward the east coast is a feat in and of itself.



Right now I hate the idea of leaving all of this behind to look for a job in Olympia. They warned me that I would feel this way. They warned me that this would become my new normal. I’m meant to go home and find a job and live out my life there?



My emotions are not mixed like the others. I’m absolutely certain that I want to come back here and live out the rest of my life. I want this diversity. It is a struggle to find the words without tears accompanying it. I have never felt closer to my flat mates than the night before departure. We can barely hold it together around each other when one of us voices our pain. I will miss the bus, the sweltering heat of the tube, the English electronic voice that accompanies all travel within the city, I will miss the shear grandeur, the lifestyle, the amazing food!



Hello from the future! Reading this now almost six months later is bittersweet. I remember this feeling now and it is still inside me. I yearn to return but it isn’t my end goal anymore. I couldn’t find a way back and all signs point toward living here. I will live and work here and try to make a life for myself. I thought I felt bad before leaving but it was nothing in comparison to the depression that took over after I arrived back in my home town.

Three Weeks Before Departure

Busy! I have an intense schedule. I live in the borough of Islington near the Angel tube station.

Monday – 8am – 11am class with CEA in Russel Square

Tuesday – OFF but Wednesdays the maids come in to clean and we have to have everything stripped Wednesday morning before we leave. My flat mates and I (I lucked out with them!) We cleaned off all surfaces Tuesday night and stripped everything but our beds.

Wednesday – Wednesday morning I’d have to get up a half hour early so I could strip my pillows, bed, and duvet cover off for the maids to replace. If I was vigilant on Tuesday nights, I could just grab my things and go after this. I had a 9am class at LSBU near the Elephant & Castle tube station in south London. I would race home to eat breakfast around noon/1 and then head to CEA school for photography class in Russel square at 3pm.

Thursday – OFF (my flatmates had Fridays off but I didn’t so they often left to travel on Thursdays and I had to wait until after class the next day to leave).

Friday – 9am class at LSBU until noon.

Weekends were off. I often left after classes on Fridays to travel once I had been in London for more than a month and knew my schedule and limits.

Things I have noticed about London.

1.       Not a lot of Americans travel in London. This city is incredibly diverse but Americans must be scarce because they think nothing of Australians, Mexicans, or any other Europeans but were shocked to hear an American accent.

2.       Lingo! There are so many differences that are just similar enough to confuse. A caravan is a 5^th wheel. A tank top is a vest and a vest is a waistcoat. We call vests waistcoats only when worn during weddings, right? So many random harmless (kind of fun) misunderstandings. Puddings are any desserts and they don’t have pudding.

3.       Things I’m missing. Cream cheese, yogurt (they have yoghurt that is all greek..nothing sweet), jello, white granulated sugar, cottage cheese, Walmart (easy access catch all for items you may ever need), and cucumbers (they have English ones and pickles for the same reason).

4.       Things I love: Camembert cheese, teaTeaTEA, clotted cream, and can we talk about black currants for a moment. History lesson about the states: We previously thought that black currants had a fungus that would destroy trees. We eradicated them and made them illegal!? Not so in the U.K. It is everywhere and glorious! I miss the black currant Ribena drink soooooo much.

5.       Socially the English are extremely reserved in comparison to most Americans that I am used to. I have travelled extensively throughout the U.S. and I have never encountered the kind of introversion that I had in the U.K. I embraced it and used it to my advantage. I had to learn how to engage them in conversation and do so successfully. Give them an inch and most would find a way to ignore and move away from me without acknowledging I had said a single thing.

I am an extremely bubbly, smiley, and extroverted person. I say good morning, constantly smile throughout my walks, and I’m fearless when it comes to asking questions, engaging strangers, and making conversation. Even their greetings typically something like “y’alright?” which is used in lieu of “hello”. I found this to be true even in the smaller cities I briefly visited. Once they are comfortably outside their reserve they are just as friendly and open as any cheerful American.

Ireland and Scotland however were the loudest, more outgoing, extroverted, people I have ever met. They were frequently shout at me, engage with me first, and one guy followed me from the Christmas festival (an absolute crush of people) to ask me out and he didn’t even know I was American! I found Scotland especially to be very intimidating.

6.       I travelled to Wales, Scotland, and Ireland. Within London I spent time in York, Blackpool, Oxford, and Birmingham. I recommend not spending all your time in London or even England but you shouldn’t spend all your time travelling. The little I did gave me snippets of their countries but afforded me the opportunity to make a real connection with my host city itself.

Two Weeks after Arrival

Two weeks after arrival

My experience so far is that London, England is a lot like my home city of Olympia, Washington. Rainy!

I did some research beforehand and found that London has a consistent 2 inches on average of rain every single month of the year. In Olympia we have a few inches on average for 6 months of the year, almost no rain for two months in the summer, and an average of 5 inches of rain in October and 9 inches of rain in the month of November.

You read that right. Nine inches. I was going to be on a rain vacation! We don’t carry umbrellas in Washington state and if you do we’ll know you are a tourist. The first thing I’ve noticed about London is that EVERYONE has umbrellas! It was the first comment I made after arrival. However, the rain in London is harder and less frequent. I am guilty of ducking under an overhang and waiting out a downpour on days I didn’t have the umbrella I purchased at James Smith & Sons.

The rollercoaster of transitioning into life abroad is predictable. It was normal for me to feel nerves before leaving and it will be for you as well. You are in a new environment, a new country, and a new culture. Everything is different, difficult, and unfamiliar. While almost everyone will have an experience unique to themselves. There are five main stages that you may go through after arriving in your host country. These five stages are represented in the shape of a W. Three high points and two low. You start out nervous but excited and on top. The next stage is feeling home sickness for what you left behind. The third stage is a high because you feel familiar streets, routine, and comfort. The fourth stage is not wanting to return home because you have grown to love your host country, routine, and the excitement and experience. This is the second low part of the W. The final stage is another high and the last point. You remember what you love about home, reconnect with family, and appreciate things anew.

I have to admit that I do not recall feeling homesick at all but I witnessed it in my flat mates abroad. They had some difficulty with this stage. This fact also make sense when you fast forward to when we were getting ready to leave our host country. They seemed to skip over the reluctance to leave and they looked forward to going home. There was some tears and hugging. L So… not completely but as strongly as they wanted to go home, I wanted to stay forever. Everyone will experience these to varying degrees and for different lengths of time.

We tried to be there for each other. In my experience their hobbies and comfort items were the easiest ways for them to cope with their homesickness. Speaking to their loved ones helped initially but as the weeks wore on they seemed to make things worse. I encouraged them to write letters back and forth to expend some of their thoughts to relatives without the sad goodbyes that came with skype calls. It wasn’t a problem though… they felt homesickness and that was perfectly normal! I just wanted to help in any way that I could.

The Day Before Departure

The Day Before

Goodbyes. I am on an emotional roller coast today as I prepared to leave for London in a few hours. I have rushed around, checked and rechecked, and worked myself into a panic. Basically all the ear markers of serenity and success! Ha ha. I can’t wait to leave (in fact I wish I could just leave right now) but my stomach is a flurry of nervous butterflies. I’m still waiting for the funds from Gilman to be deposited into my account. It is supposed to deposit a few days after I arrive. I could be surrounded by people who are any more comforting, supportive, and loving. This never would have been possible without the incredible generosity of so many people. My emotions are running high and writing about this right now is humbling and overwhelming. I cannot believe that it is really happening. I did it. All that work, blood, sweat, and tears later and I am set and ready to go.

Hello from the future. I remember this departure day really well. I threw up SOOOO many times on the way to the airport. I had no idea why (turns out I had the flu then and for days after I arrived).

I’m adding this information in because the program thought that I was suffering from homesickness or panic. I never get sick (I hadn’t at the flu in years because I have an autoimmune disease that is super over active and prevents things like the common cold and the flu). I didn’t recognize the symptoms and I wasn’t throwing up food because I was too sick to shop.

I was emotionally wrecked. I doubted myself, maybe I wasn’t STRONG enough for this trip. Maybe I need to be sent home. I couldn’t stand it. Finally, they took me to the doctor and I was diagnosed with the flu and sent home.

My advice is to talk to people. Tell them exactly what is happening and that you need help. They can’t put themselves in your shoes unless you describe your shoes to them.