Home From Abroad - Reverse Culture Shock

Home.

Jetlag, let’s talk about it. Not only was I jetlagged but my schedule was completely backwards. I also feel closer to those I left behind in the U.K. so it is hard for me to find the willpower or inspiration to change my schedule when it makes it more difficult for me to speak to them. Unlike my flat mates who went back to the beginnings of their next semesters and routine, I had finished my bachelor’s degree in London. I had nothing to do but complete my Gilman requirements and to find a job. These things are not the motivation you need to fix your sleeping schedule. Useless.

Reverse culture shock WRECKED me. I didn’t want to be back in the U.S. I didn’t want to get used to driving again. I didn’t want to find a job. I didn’t want to hear American accents. It was torture for weeks. I went to a very dark place and ended up seeking out a psychologist.

Culture shock is somewhat expected when you are travelling abroad but coming home and feeling it is kind of shocking. I was warned but it was nothing like what happened. I was crushed.

My only advice is to make a plan, get professional help, and don’t suffer alone. Talk to people about how you feel and ask for advice. There are ways to ease your return.

I’m involved! I found new purpose. I found a job to strive for, made a plan, and I’m volunteering with CEA as an abroad ambassador.

The Day Before Departure

The Day Before

Goodbyes. I am on an emotional roller coast today as I prepared to leave for London in a few hours. I have rushed around, checked and rechecked, and worked myself into a panic. Basically all the ear markers of serenity and success! Ha ha. I can’t wait to leave (in fact I wish I could just leave right now) but my stomach is a flurry of nervous butterflies. I’m still waiting for the funds from Gilman to be deposited into my account. It is supposed to deposit a few days after I arrive. I could be surrounded by people who are any more comforting, supportive, and loving. This never would have been possible without the incredible generosity of so many people. My emotions are running high and writing about this right now is humbling and overwhelming. I cannot believe that it is really happening. I did it. All that work, blood, sweat, and tears later and I am set and ready to go.

Hello from the future. I remember this departure day really well. I threw up SOOOO many times on the way to the airport. I had no idea why (turns out I had the flu then and for days after I arrived).

I’m adding this information in because the program thought that I was suffering from homesickness or panic. I never get sick (I hadn’t at the flu in years because I have an autoimmune disease that is super over active and prevents things like the common cold and the flu). I didn’t recognize the symptoms and I wasn’t throwing up food because I was too sick to shop.

I was emotionally wrecked. I doubted myself, maybe I wasn’t STRONG enough for this trip. Maybe I need to be sent home. I couldn’t stand it. Finally, they took me to the doctor and I was diagnosed with the flu and sent home.

My advice is to talk to people. Tell them exactly what is happening and that you need help. They can’t put themselves in your shoes unless you describe your shoes to them.