Home From Abroad - Reverse Culture Shock

Home.

Jetlag, let’s talk about it. Not only was I jetlagged but my schedule was completely backwards. I also feel closer to those I left behind in the U.K. so it is hard for me to find the willpower or inspiration to change my schedule when it makes it more difficult for me to speak to them. Unlike my flat mates who went back to the beginnings of their next semesters and routine, I had finished my bachelor’s degree in London. I had nothing to do but complete my Gilman requirements and to find a job. These things are not the motivation you need to fix your sleeping schedule. Useless.

Reverse culture shock WRECKED me. I didn’t want to be back in the U.S. I didn’t want to get used to driving again. I didn’t want to find a job. I didn’t want to hear American accents. It was torture for weeks. I went to a very dark place and ended up seeking out a psychologist.

Culture shock is somewhat expected when you are travelling abroad but coming home and feeling it is kind of shocking. I was warned but it was nothing like what happened. I was crushed.

My only advice is to make a plan, get professional help, and don’t suffer alone. Talk to people about how you feel and ask for advice. There are ways to ease your return.

I’m involved! I found new purpose. I found a job to strive for, made a plan, and I’m volunteering with CEA as an abroad ambassador.

The Night Before Departure

Today is my last day and it is painful. The last couple of weeks I have been fighting to come up with some way to stay in this wonderful country. I have never been happier than I have been in London. The homesickness I feel is nothing in comparison to the sadness that is overwhelming me at the thought of going back to the mediocre life I left behind.



I feel, I don’t know, I suppose I feel very cosmopolitan and adult flitting from north to south London. Meeting people from all over Europe rather than from my state or other states. I feel that I have learned more in almost four months than in my entire life. My eyes have been opened to the narrowness that Americans live in. Granted I do not believe that it is necessarily our fault that we think this way. The United States is huge. Travelling toward the east coast is a feat in and of itself.



Right now I hate the idea of leaving all of this behind to look for a job in Olympia. They warned me that I would feel this way. They warned me that this would become my new normal. I’m meant to go home and find a job and live out my life there?



My emotions are not mixed like the others. I’m absolutely certain that I want to come back here and live out the rest of my life. I want this diversity. It is a struggle to find the words without tears accompanying it. I have never felt closer to my flat mates than the night before departure. We can barely hold it together around each other when one of us voices our pain. I will miss the bus, the sweltering heat of the tube, the English electronic voice that accompanies all travel within the city, I will miss the shear grandeur, the lifestyle, the amazing food!



Hello from the future! Reading this now almost six months later is bittersweet. I remember this feeling now and it is still inside me. I yearn to return but it isn’t my end goal anymore. I couldn’t find a way back and all signs point toward living here. I will live and work here and try to make a life for myself. I thought I felt bad before leaving but it was nothing in comparison to the depression that took over after I arrived back in my home town.

Three Weeks Before Departure

Busy! I have an intense schedule. I live in the borough of Islington near the Angel tube station.

Monday – 8am – 11am class with CEA in Russel Square

Tuesday – OFF but Wednesdays the maids come in to clean and we have to have everything stripped Wednesday morning before we leave. My flat mates and I (I lucked out with them!) We cleaned off all surfaces Tuesday night and stripped everything but our beds.

Wednesday – Wednesday morning I’d have to get up a half hour early so I could strip my pillows, bed, and duvet cover off for the maids to replace. If I was vigilant on Tuesday nights, I could just grab my things and go after this. I had a 9am class at LSBU near the Elephant & Castle tube station in south London. I would race home to eat breakfast around noon/1 and then head to CEA school for photography class in Russel square at 3pm.

Thursday – OFF (my flatmates had Fridays off but I didn’t so they often left to travel on Thursdays and I had to wait until after class the next day to leave).

Friday – 9am class at LSBU until noon.

Weekends were off. I often left after classes on Fridays to travel once I had been in London for more than a month and knew my schedule and limits.

Things I have noticed about London.

1.       Not a lot of Americans travel in London. This city is incredibly diverse but Americans must be scarce because they think nothing of Australians, Mexicans, or any other Europeans but were shocked to hear an American accent.

2.       Lingo! There are so many differences that are just similar enough to confuse. A caravan is a 5^th wheel. A tank top is a vest and a vest is a waistcoat. We call vests waistcoats only when worn during weddings, right? So many random harmless (kind of fun) misunderstandings. Puddings are any desserts and they don’t have pudding.

3.       Things I’m missing. Cream cheese, yogurt (they have yoghurt that is all greek..nothing sweet), jello, white granulated sugar, cottage cheese, Walmart (easy access catch all for items you may ever need), and cucumbers (they have English ones and pickles for the same reason).

4.       Things I love: Camembert cheese, teaTeaTEA, clotted cream, and can we talk about black currants for a moment. History lesson about the states: We previously thought that black currants had a fungus that would destroy trees. We eradicated them and made them illegal!? Not so in the U.K. It is everywhere and glorious! I miss the black currant Ribena drink soooooo much.

5.       Socially the English are extremely reserved in comparison to most Americans that I am used to. I have travelled extensively throughout the U.S. and I have never encountered the kind of introversion that I had in the U.K. I embraced it and used it to my advantage. I had to learn how to engage them in conversation and do so successfully. Give them an inch and most would find a way to ignore and move away from me without acknowledging I had said a single thing.

I am an extremely bubbly, smiley, and extroverted person. I say good morning, constantly smile throughout my walks, and I’m fearless when it comes to asking questions, engaging strangers, and making conversation. Even their greetings typically something like “y’alright?” which is used in lieu of “hello”. I found this to be true even in the smaller cities I briefly visited. Once they are comfortably outside their reserve they are just as friendly and open as any cheerful American.

Ireland and Scotland however were the loudest, more outgoing, extroverted, people I have ever met. They were frequently shout at me, engage with me first, and one guy followed me from the Christmas festival (an absolute crush of people) to ask me out and he didn’t even know I was American! I found Scotland especially to be very intimidating.

6.       I travelled to Wales, Scotland, and Ireland. Within London I spent time in York, Blackpool, Oxford, and Birmingham. I recommend not spending all your time in London or even England but you shouldn’t spend all your time travelling. The little I did gave me snippets of their countries but afforded me the opportunity to make a real connection with my host city itself.

Two Weeks after Arrival

Two weeks after arrival

My experience so far is that London, England is a lot like my home city of Olympia, Washington. Rainy!

I did some research beforehand and found that London has a consistent 2 inches on average of rain every single month of the year. In Olympia we have a few inches on average for 6 months of the year, almost no rain for two months in the summer, and an average of 5 inches of rain in October and 9 inches of rain in the month of November.

You read that right. Nine inches. I was going to be on a rain vacation! We don’t carry umbrellas in Washington state and if you do we’ll know you are a tourist. The first thing I’ve noticed about London is that EVERYONE has umbrellas! It was the first comment I made after arrival. However, the rain in London is harder and less frequent. I am guilty of ducking under an overhang and waiting out a downpour on days I didn’t have the umbrella I purchased at James Smith & Sons.

The rollercoaster of transitioning into life abroad is predictable. It was normal for me to feel nerves before leaving and it will be for you as well. You are in a new environment, a new country, and a new culture. Everything is different, difficult, and unfamiliar. While almost everyone will have an experience unique to themselves. There are five main stages that you may go through after arriving in your host country. These five stages are represented in the shape of a W. Three high points and two low. You start out nervous but excited and on top. The next stage is feeling home sickness for what you left behind. The third stage is a high because you feel familiar streets, routine, and comfort. The fourth stage is not wanting to return home because you have grown to love your host country, routine, and the excitement and experience. This is the second low part of the W. The final stage is another high and the last point. You remember what you love about home, reconnect with family, and appreciate things anew.

I have to admit that I do not recall feeling homesick at all but I witnessed it in my flat mates abroad. They had some difficulty with this stage. This fact also make sense when you fast forward to when we were getting ready to leave our host country. They seemed to skip over the reluctance to leave and they looked forward to going home. There was some tears and hugging. L So… not completely but as strongly as they wanted to go home, I wanted to stay forever. Everyone will experience these to varying degrees and for different lengths of time.

We tried to be there for each other. In my experience their hobbies and comfort items were the easiest ways for them to cope with their homesickness. Speaking to their loved ones helped initially but as the weeks wore on they seemed to make things worse. I encouraged them to write letters back and forth to expend some of their thoughts to relatives without the sad goodbyes that came with skype calls. It wasn’t a problem though… they felt homesickness and that was perfectly normal! I just wanted to help in any way that I could.

The Day Before Departure

The Day Before

Goodbyes. I am on an emotional roller coast today as I prepared to leave for London in a few hours. I have rushed around, checked and rechecked, and worked myself into a panic. Basically all the ear markers of serenity and success! Ha ha. I can’t wait to leave (in fact I wish I could just leave right now) but my stomach is a flurry of nervous butterflies. I’m still waiting for the funds from Gilman to be deposited into my account. It is supposed to deposit a few days after I arrive. I could be surrounded by people who are any more comforting, supportive, and loving. This never would have been possible without the incredible generosity of so many people. My emotions are running high and writing about this right now is humbling and overwhelming. I cannot believe that it is really happening. I did it. All that work, blood, sweat, and tears later and I am set and ready to go.

Hello from the future. I remember this departure day really well. I threw up SOOOO many times on the way to the airport. I had no idea why (turns out I had the flu then and for days after I arrived).

I’m adding this information in because the program thought that I was suffering from homesickness or panic. I never get sick (I hadn’t at the flu in years because I have an autoimmune disease that is super over active and prevents things like the common cold and the flu). I didn’t recognize the symptoms and I wasn’t throwing up food because I was too sick to shop.

I was emotionally wrecked. I doubted myself, maybe I wasn’t STRONG enough for this trip. Maybe I need to be sent home. I couldn’t stand it. Finally, they took me to the doctor and I was diagnosed with the flu and sent home.

My advice is to talk to people. Tell them exactly what is happening and that you need help. They can’t put themselves in your shoes unless you describe your shoes to them.

The Week Before Departure

The Week Before



In one weeks’ time I will begin my journey abroad studying in London, England. I have spent every possible moment since the New Year working towards this goal and it is finally here. Dreaming of Yorkshire pudding, views from the London eye, and afternoon tea are common pastimes of mine. I'm an avid fan of vloggers with a special place in my heart for those British vloggers most seem to know and love.



I have to admit that I am almost sick with nerves as the departure date approaches. I am not even sure exactly which aspect scares me so much. Perhaps it is just the entire trip itself and therefore difficult to pinpoint.



I did everything I was supposed to, I have lists, and everything has been packed and weighed. I feel more ready than I could ever be. I have one empty full size luggage to check, a carryon luggage to put above my seat, and a backpack as my seat bag. All my electronics (laptop and camera) are in the carry on. I have nothing but paperwork, bottle of water, and travel items (like ibuprofen, pillow, ear plugs, journal and headphones).



Hello from the future! I am updating this with a comment on what I said in this post. I said that I had a journal with me on the plane. I feel as though that bullet journal (an emerald Leuchtturm 1917 bulleted journal) was the single best item I took on the trip with me. I realized when I returned from this trip that the most valuable thing I did while away was write down what I was doing each week and a sentence (or ten depending on the day and events) about what happened. I couldn’t take pictures inside everywhere, every second of every day I was there. A photo may be worth a thousand words but a sentence is the key to a trillion memories.



It’s the small things. I remember all the big events…. I didn’t need to capture every second of that. Even with my terrible memory all it takes is a sentence with keywords to job my memory. With very little effort I remember scents, feelings, actions… a million little things that photos skip over.



Remember to document more than just the fantastical things. Write down the color of your keychain, the angel scratched into the elevator door, and that weird dip in the sidewalk on the way to your classes. THOSE things are the things I wrote down and never would have considered taking a photo of.



So make sure you take just a few seconds each day to write down some key words and it will serve you well. Songs you heard, phrases you learned, names and features, smells, and random feelings.

The Flight

The Flight

Your carryon should hold your fragile items, electronics, and valuables. Important paperwork, ID, cash, and other items that you will need immediately should be at hand.

At your seat you should bring support items. I had a pillow that was compact and I could fill with air at my seat and lean my face on and put my arms in. Magical! I will link to one like it HERE. My flight was 5hrs with a 2hr layover in Texas and then another 5hrs to London.

Unless you wear a watch regularly, don’t bring one. It isn’t that important just for two flights. Instead prepare yourself to have a dead phone battery. Bring portable batteries! I brought three of them and I could have used an extra (because of all the time I kept having to waste making sure they were all plugged in because I used them up so quickly). Make sure they are as compact and large capacity as possible. You won’t want to carry bulk around every day. Slim charger in your pocket is nothing however!

 Apps. For London I recommend WhatsApp or Kik (if you want to hide your real number) to talk over Wi-Fi for free. To travel City Mapper is perfection, you can search for walking, bus, tube, or Uber routes and times. I would recommend using widgets on your screen to keep track of your HOME time. It is easier than counting every time you want to know; you can check in the same time it would take to check your foreign time. This will also save you during your flight to calculate travel times while crossing time zones.

Don’t bring things specifically for your flight. You will have to drag these items all over your foreign country and unless you will be travelling extensively for your entire trip, don’t coddle yourself. You can survive a flight with your ear buds instead of heavy duty noise cancelling headphones that will be cumbersome and added weight on your way home. Your ear buds may get annoying but you can handle it, I promise.

Tissues. Virtually weightless and for some reason, I swear, everyone’s noses run on planes. These can double as toilet paper as well!

Comfortable clothing (be aware of weather)

Charge everything before you leave!

Bring an empty water bottle (TSA will stop you for carrying liquids but there are loads of places to fill this passed security). Keep hydrated and eat a balanced meal before travelling. It is tempting to eat taco bell as a quick option but it will come back to haunt you mid-flight. You don’t want to be in and out of the toilet with embarrassing issues. Be prepared with Beano, heartburn, or diarrhea medication!

Get up and stretch during flight. Blood clots are a worry even for those of us without circulation problems. I personally wore restriction socks (like diabetics wear) to ward against them because I had a window seat). Sitting for long periods of time can be dangerous, because you risk of DVT (deep vein thrombosis) rises. It isn’t going to hurt anything or anyone for you to do a couple laps around. If you are worried about bothering staff, ask them for a route and best time to accomplish this during flight.

The woman sitting across from me during my flight clearly had circulation problems because she would constantly stand up next to me and stomp her feet… she was in pain! It was horrid.

My flight to the UK and back (and flights while I was there) weren’t bad. I watched movies, tv shows, and such on the flight over.

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask any questions in the comments below.

Happy Travels,

Elle

Preparing to Go Abroad

Preparing to Go Abroad

This process can be a daunting one. It will be a long journey but the results are worth it. This post will outline and try and explain each aspect.

1.       Contact

2.       Choose a program and country

3.       Degree requirements

4.       Finances

5.       Culture preparation

The first step is to make contact with your study abroad department. They are ready and willing to help you through this whole process step by step. They will have pamphlets, previous experience, and everything you will need to begin. There may be certain restrictions and requirements specific to your school that are important to know from the beginning. One such restriction may be the semester you are allowed to study abroad. Once such restriction could be that you are not allowed to study abroad in your last semester of your degree due to your senior thesis requirements.

This second step in your process is to choose a program and country. Depending on your degree, school, and personal goals, this may be decided for you. As a criminal justice student, I had very little choices in terms of the program and in my opinion my country of choice. Not a lot of the programs had schools in their listings that were applicable to my degree. I chose England as my country of choice because it is the birth place of our criminal justice system. I could have justified other countries to do a comparative analysis with our own but England makes way more sense. These decisions are very important because you will need to justify your choice in applications and scholarship essays.

The third step is figuring out the semester you will be able to go abroad. It is very important to go over your degree requirements to see what you still have to complete. If you have used all your electives already and you only have classes required to complete for your degree you will have to choose a school abroad who is offering those classes.

Finances are your fourth step. Your study abroad advisor should go over the costs of the program you chose, the school, housing, and local costs with you. If not, you can research, research, research. The information is out there. You need to make yourself a budget. Start with how much you will need and then you can work out if it is possible to afford it. There are a lot of options available to you.

a.       Saved money

b.       Familial support

c.       Scholarships via your program, school, state, country, honor societies, and clubs.

d.       Crowd funding

e.       Selling items

f.        Part-time job before leaving

Your fifth step is to prepare for months in a different country and culture from your own. It is your reasonability to prepare yourself for this task. It is important that you try and be as respectful as possible of their laws and culture while you are abroad. You are representing yourself, your school, your degree, and your home. There will be more differences than you can adequately prepare for. These differences could be appearance, language, customs, etc. Make an effort to look up large differences to prepare yourself. The most important differences to research are laws and maybe common social faux pas.

Preparing lists. Research. Be prepared with tourist destinations that are important to you, not places important to others. You may feel pressure to see Buckingham Palace. If it isn't important to you then don't do it. One of the most important things to be was Jack the Ripper, Sherlock Holmes, and the Sir Robert Peel statues (in London and Glasgow, Scotland).

•             Shops to frequent

•             Food to try

•             Grocery store names

•             Gift ideas

•             Addresses to send post cards to

•             Inspiration lists

•             Learning about your country of choice (phrases/tips)

Social media holds all the answers. Pinterest is a black hole of travel lists. I pinned every list I could find about unique stops, must see options, and out of this world eateries. Once I had down time I sat down and went through all of them and took note of places, people, and things to see. After creating this master list of amazingness I narrowed it down to the places that really spoke to me. They are at the top of my lists and are a priority depending on time, money, and location.

Remember that you are only human and nothing you can do will make the entire process perfect. I suggest creating a realistic list for yourself to complete before you leave.

If you have any questions please do not hesitate to leave them in the comment section below.

Happy Travels,
Elle