Home From Abroad - Reverse Culture Shock

Home.

Jetlag, let’s talk about it. Not only was I jetlagged but my schedule was completely backwards. I also feel closer to those I left behind in the U.K. so it is hard for me to find the willpower or inspiration to change my schedule when it makes it more difficult for me to speak to them. Unlike my flat mates who went back to the beginnings of their next semesters and routine, I had finished my bachelor’s degree in London. I had nothing to do but complete my Gilman requirements and to find a job. These things are not the motivation you need to fix your sleeping schedule. Useless.

Reverse culture shock WRECKED me. I didn’t want to be back in the U.S. I didn’t want to get used to driving again. I didn’t want to find a job. I didn’t want to hear American accents. It was torture for weeks. I went to a very dark place and ended up seeking out a psychologist.

Culture shock is somewhat expected when you are travelling abroad but coming home and feeling it is kind of shocking. I was warned but it was nothing like what happened. I was crushed.

My only advice is to make a plan, get professional help, and don’t suffer alone. Talk to people about how you feel and ask for advice. There are ways to ease your return.

I’m involved! I found new purpose. I found a job to strive for, made a plan, and I’m volunteering with CEA as an abroad ambassador.

The Night Before Departure

Today is my last day and it is painful. The last couple of weeks I have been fighting to come up with some way to stay in this wonderful country. I have never been happier than I have been in London. The homesickness I feel is nothing in comparison to the sadness that is overwhelming me at the thought of going back to the mediocre life I left behind.



I feel, I don’t know, I suppose I feel very cosmopolitan and adult flitting from north to south London. Meeting people from all over Europe rather than from my state or other states. I feel that I have learned more in almost four months than in my entire life. My eyes have been opened to the narrowness that Americans live in. Granted I do not believe that it is necessarily our fault that we think this way. The United States is huge. Travelling toward the east coast is a feat in and of itself.



Right now I hate the idea of leaving all of this behind to look for a job in Olympia. They warned me that I would feel this way. They warned me that this would become my new normal. I’m meant to go home and find a job and live out my life there?



My emotions are not mixed like the others. I’m absolutely certain that I want to come back here and live out the rest of my life. I want this diversity. It is a struggle to find the words without tears accompanying it. I have never felt closer to my flat mates than the night before departure. We can barely hold it together around each other when one of us voices our pain. I will miss the bus, the sweltering heat of the tube, the English electronic voice that accompanies all travel within the city, I will miss the shear grandeur, the lifestyle, the amazing food!



Hello from the future! Reading this now almost six months later is bittersweet. I remember this feeling now and it is still inside me. I yearn to return but it isn’t my end goal anymore. I couldn’t find a way back and all signs point toward living here. I will live and work here and try to make a life for myself. I thought I felt bad before leaving but it was nothing in comparison to the depression that took over after I arrived back in my home town.

Three Weeks Before Departure

Busy! I have an intense schedule. I live in the borough of Islington near the Angel tube station.

Monday – 8am – 11am class with CEA in Russel Square

Tuesday – OFF but Wednesdays the maids come in to clean and we have to have everything stripped Wednesday morning before we leave. My flat mates and I (I lucked out with them!) We cleaned off all surfaces Tuesday night and stripped everything but our beds.

Wednesday – Wednesday morning I’d have to get up a half hour early so I could strip my pillows, bed, and duvet cover off for the maids to replace. If I was vigilant on Tuesday nights, I could just grab my things and go after this. I had a 9am class at LSBU near the Elephant & Castle tube station in south London. I would race home to eat breakfast around noon/1 and then head to CEA school for photography class in Russel square at 3pm.

Thursday – OFF (my flatmates had Fridays off but I didn’t so they often left to travel on Thursdays and I had to wait until after class the next day to leave).

Friday – 9am class at LSBU until noon.

Weekends were off. I often left after classes on Fridays to travel once I had been in London for more than a month and knew my schedule and limits.

Things I have noticed about London.

1.       Not a lot of Americans travel in London. This city is incredibly diverse but Americans must be scarce because they think nothing of Australians, Mexicans, or any other Europeans but were shocked to hear an American accent.

2.       Lingo! There are so many differences that are just similar enough to confuse. A caravan is a 5^th wheel. A tank top is a vest and a vest is a waistcoat. We call vests waistcoats only when worn during weddings, right? So many random harmless (kind of fun) misunderstandings. Puddings are any desserts and they don’t have pudding.

3.       Things I’m missing. Cream cheese, yogurt (they have yoghurt that is all greek..nothing sweet), jello, white granulated sugar, cottage cheese, Walmart (easy access catch all for items you may ever need), and cucumbers (they have English ones and pickles for the same reason).

4.       Things I love: Camembert cheese, teaTeaTEA, clotted cream, and can we talk about black currants for a moment. History lesson about the states: We previously thought that black currants had a fungus that would destroy trees. We eradicated them and made them illegal!? Not so in the U.K. It is everywhere and glorious! I miss the black currant Ribena drink soooooo much.

5.       Socially the English are extremely reserved in comparison to most Americans that I am used to. I have travelled extensively throughout the U.S. and I have never encountered the kind of introversion that I had in the U.K. I embraced it and used it to my advantage. I had to learn how to engage them in conversation and do so successfully. Give them an inch and most would find a way to ignore and move away from me without acknowledging I had said a single thing.

I am an extremely bubbly, smiley, and extroverted person. I say good morning, constantly smile throughout my walks, and I’m fearless when it comes to asking questions, engaging strangers, and making conversation. Even their greetings typically something like “y’alright?” which is used in lieu of “hello”. I found this to be true even in the smaller cities I briefly visited. Once they are comfortably outside their reserve they are just as friendly and open as any cheerful American.

Ireland and Scotland however were the loudest, more outgoing, extroverted, people I have ever met. They were frequently shout at me, engage with me first, and one guy followed me from the Christmas festival (an absolute crush of people) to ask me out and he didn’t even know I was American! I found Scotland especially to be very intimidating.

6.       I travelled to Wales, Scotland, and Ireland. Within London I spent time in York, Blackpool, Oxford, and Birmingham. I recommend not spending all your time in London or even England but you shouldn’t spend all your time travelling. The little I did gave me snippets of their countries but afforded me the opportunity to make a real connection with my host city itself.

Two Weeks after Arrival

Two weeks after arrival

My experience so far is that London, England is a lot like my home city of Olympia, Washington. Rainy!

I did some research beforehand and found that London has a consistent 2 inches on average of rain every single month of the year. In Olympia we have a few inches on average for 6 months of the year, almost no rain for two months in the summer, and an average of 5 inches of rain in October and 9 inches of rain in the month of November.

You read that right. Nine inches. I was going to be on a rain vacation! We don’t carry umbrellas in Washington state and if you do we’ll know you are a tourist. The first thing I’ve noticed about London is that EVERYONE has umbrellas! It was the first comment I made after arrival. However, the rain in London is harder and less frequent. I am guilty of ducking under an overhang and waiting out a downpour on days I didn’t have the umbrella I purchased at James Smith & Sons.

The rollercoaster of transitioning into life abroad is predictable. It was normal for me to feel nerves before leaving and it will be for you as well. You are in a new environment, a new country, and a new culture. Everything is different, difficult, and unfamiliar. While almost everyone will have an experience unique to themselves. There are five main stages that you may go through after arriving in your host country. These five stages are represented in the shape of a W. Three high points and two low. You start out nervous but excited and on top. The next stage is feeling home sickness for what you left behind. The third stage is a high because you feel familiar streets, routine, and comfort. The fourth stage is not wanting to return home because you have grown to love your host country, routine, and the excitement and experience. This is the second low part of the W. The final stage is another high and the last point. You remember what you love about home, reconnect with family, and appreciate things anew.

I have to admit that I do not recall feeling homesick at all but I witnessed it in my flat mates abroad. They had some difficulty with this stage. This fact also make sense when you fast forward to when we were getting ready to leave our host country. They seemed to skip over the reluctance to leave and they looked forward to going home. There was some tears and hugging. L So… not completely but as strongly as they wanted to go home, I wanted to stay forever. Everyone will experience these to varying degrees and for different lengths of time.

We tried to be there for each other. In my experience their hobbies and comfort items were the easiest ways for them to cope with their homesickness. Speaking to their loved ones helped initially but as the weeks wore on they seemed to make things worse. I encouraged them to write letters back and forth to expend some of their thoughts to relatives without the sad goodbyes that came with skype calls. It wasn’t a problem though… they felt homesickness and that was perfectly normal! I just wanted to help in any way that I could.

The Day Before Departure

The Day Before

Goodbyes. I am on an emotional roller coast today as I prepared to leave for London in a few hours. I have rushed around, checked and rechecked, and worked myself into a panic. Basically all the ear markers of serenity and success! Ha ha. I can’t wait to leave (in fact I wish I could just leave right now) but my stomach is a flurry of nervous butterflies. I’m still waiting for the funds from Gilman to be deposited into my account. It is supposed to deposit a few days after I arrive. I could be surrounded by people who are any more comforting, supportive, and loving. This never would have been possible without the incredible generosity of so many people. My emotions are running high and writing about this right now is humbling and overwhelming. I cannot believe that it is really happening. I did it. All that work, blood, sweat, and tears later and I am set and ready to go.

Hello from the future. I remember this departure day really well. I threw up SOOOO many times on the way to the airport. I had no idea why (turns out I had the flu then and for days after I arrived).

I’m adding this information in because the program thought that I was suffering from homesickness or panic. I never get sick (I hadn’t at the flu in years because I have an autoimmune disease that is super over active and prevents things like the common cold and the flu). I didn’t recognize the symptoms and I wasn’t throwing up food because I was too sick to shop.

I was emotionally wrecked. I doubted myself, maybe I wasn’t STRONG enough for this trip. Maybe I need to be sent home. I couldn’t stand it. Finally, they took me to the doctor and I was diagnosed with the flu and sent home.

My advice is to talk to people. Tell them exactly what is happening and that you need help. They can’t put themselves in your shoes unless you describe your shoes to them.

The Week Before Departure

The Week Before



In one weeks’ time I will begin my journey abroad studying in London, England. I have spent every possible moment since the New Year working towards this goal and it is finally here. Dreaming of Yorkshire pudding, views from the London eye, and afternoon tea are common pastimes of mine. I'm an avid fan of vloggers with a special place in my heart for those British vloggers most seem to know and love.



I have to admit that I am almost sick with nerves as the departure date approaches. I am not even sure exactly which aspect scares me so much. Perhaps it is just the entire trip itself and therefore difficult to pinpoint.



I did everything I was supposed to, I have lists, and everything has been packed and weighed. I feel more ready than I could ever be. I have one empty full size luggage to check, a carryon luggage to put above my seat, and a backpack as my seat bag. All my electronics (laptop and camera) are in the carry on. I have nothing but paperwork, bottle of water, and travel items (like ibuprofen, pillow, ear plugs, journal and headphones).



Hello from the future! I am updating this with a comment on what I said in this post. I said that I had a journal with me on the plane. I feel as though that bullet journal (an emerald Leuchtturm 1917 bulleted journal) was the single best item I took on the trip with me. I realized when I returned from this trip that the most valuable thing I did while away was write down what I was doing each week and a sentence (or ten depending on the day and events) about what happened. I couldn’t take pictures inside everywhere, every second of every day I was there. A photo may be worth a thousand words but a sentence is the key to a trillion memories.



It’s the small things. I remember all the big events…. I didn’t need to capture every second of that. Even with my terrible memory all it takes is a sentence with keywords to job my memory. With very little effort I remember scents, feelings, actions… a million little things that photos skip over.



Remember to document more than just the fantastical things. Write down the color of your keychain, the angel scratched into the elevator door, and that weird dip in the sidewalk on the way to your classes. THOSE things are the things I wrote down and never would have considered taking a photo of.



So make sure you take just a few seconds each day to write down some key words and it will serve you well. Songs you heard, phrases you learned, names and features, smells, and random feelings.

Benjamin A. Gilman Scolarship Program

Scholarships are your friend

I’m a fiend for planning, organizing, and lists. Lists are one of my best friends and I relied on them heavily and I will until they pry the planner from my cold dead fingers. Checking things off one at a time will get you where you are going one step at a time and without any missteps! The hard part is getting everything done by the deadlines, correctly, and having to deal with policy changes, human error, and now that I think of it… technological error as well. Be vigilant! You’re the master of this trip and it is up to you to stay abreast of all developments as they happen. Case in point, last week Phi Kappa Phi sent out a newsletter about a $1,000 study abroad scholarship. I continue to search for these even two weeks before my trip and I’ve already completed the application and obtained two recommendation letters. Whether I get it or not I know that once I’m there I will have done everything in my power to achieve it.

Benjamin A. Gilman International Scholarship Program.

The Benjamin A. Gilman application process is a lengthy one. I started my process in January 2017 and I received my funds two days after I arrived in London, England. I should have started the process much sooner but the day I received my funds wouldn’t have changed because that was the approval rate for ALL Gilman recipients (not just me). It was because my program in London started so early (30^th of August).

I will outline the steps and explain them as best as I can remember. I will also supply my essay (redacted for my own privacy) and with my follow on project.

Primarily the student needs to be eligible of course. They must be U.S. citizens, be an undergraduate in good standing, in a study abroad program, chose an accepted country, and be a recipient of the Federal Pell Grant or will be. 

There are six main application stages.

1.      Application Status

a.       Account Creations

b.      Term Selections

c.       Eligibility

d.      Applicant Info

e.       Institution Info

f.        Current Transcripts

g.      Transfer Transcripts

h.      Abroad Program

i.        Program details

j.        International Experience

k.      Financial Aid

l.        Essays

m.    Certifications

n.      Survey

o.      Review & submit (once done with all steps you review them and hit submit and pray!)

2.      Advisor Certification

This is 2 steps just confirming with institution that the student has been selected and is enrolled.

a)      Study Abroad advisor

b)      Financial Aid Advisor

After these the student waits for approval which took two months and had nothing to do with me. This is set in stone when they have reviewed all of the essays and such. I was told that they get together into groups and narrow the essays down personally and then they meet and narrow it down further by grading each student together.

3.      Recipient Status

a.       Accept Terms/Conditions

b.      Notification

c.       Payment Information

d.      Evaluation

e.       Agreements

f.        Emergency Contact

g.      Documents

h.      Review and Submit

4.      Approval Status

a.       STEP

b.      Transcript

c.       Citizenship

d.      Acceptance Letter

e.       Proof of Insurance

f.        Photo

g.      Bank Validation

Steps 5 and 6 are completed once a student is abroad and/or returned

5.      Abroad status

There are 3 sections in this one which are abroad address and contact info, travel forms, and enrollment in STEP.

a.       Confirmation of Arrival (you log on and click a button)

b.      Onsite Contact Info

Put in abroad address, onsite advisor contact info, and internship credits/hours/responsibilities.

c.       Travel/Extension Forms

This section needs only to be filled out if the student will be travelling afterward or extending the trip.

6.      Alumni status

The 6th step can be completed while abroad and up to 6 months after the return date.

There are three steps in the last that are updating Gilman, evaluation (must be completed within a month of returning), and follow-on project completion.

a.       Update Gilman
Address in the states updated

b.      Evaluation
33 questions about the program, Gilman, experience, etc.

c.       Follow-On Project

6 months to complete this follow-on project

You can request an extension or change but the student must completely rewrite and detail what their follow-on project was before, why it needs changed, what it will be changed to, and get approval of that change.

Don't give up hope. It goes faster than you think it does if you pace yourself.
I was one of many lucky recipients of the Benjamin A. Gilman Scholarship and part of my receiving this lucrative award is to complete a promised project proposal.

The following is my personal essay and follow-on project. Anything in RED are my additional comments for you. Below, other than the red and redacted blacked out portion, it is exactly what I submitted to the Gilman program.

Statement of Purpose Essay

While England is a traditional place to Study Abroad, I am not your “traditional student”. I am currently writing this during spring 2017 semester. If all goes well, I will be abroad in England the last semester of my bachelor’s degree, fall 2017. This is my last chance to have the opportunity to experience study abroad.

I was inspired to study abroad in England because it is the birthplace of not just modern policing but of our entire criminal justice system as a whole. As a criminal justice (CJ) major, my heroes in law enforcement, corrections, and the courts all hail from that country; men like Sir Robert Peel, the father of modern police with his nine principles of policing, Alexander Maconochie, a British naval officer and the father of modern correctional reform, and Scotland Yard, for goodness sake! If you told me a CJ major wanted to go to other countries, I would be skeptical. Perhaps, Japan for their community policing or Norway to get firsthand experience in a country with one of the world’s lowest recidivism rates. Unfortunately, they have neither the sheer grandeur nor the monumental weight of history that England holds in direct relation to our system and everything that I study. It would be amazing just for the opportunity to pace the battlements on the Tower of London, tour Scotland Yard’s famous crime museum “the black museum” in the Victoria area of London, and have a fun Friday attending the Jack the Ripper walking tour that includes handheld projectors that paint life-size images on the darkened Whitechapel streets we’d walk!

I have a deep-seated passion for criminal justice that starts in my earliest memories. A Native American girl, I grew up in a broken home with parents addicted to drugs and parties, family members in a constant flux of violence, and through it all, the heroes in my story were always ready to leap in and save my brother and I. The police officers who were a part of my childhood were not just the first responders to the incidents of violence and pain but they also made sure to stop by every Christmas to give us gifts. They were the backbone of support for me when my brother committed suicide when I was 18 in 2003 (he was 17). ipk kdies pdkeiy wer tyg keid heut jfurispoi ep mmio ww dh peowirut asedf qaz t nbhgu eujdh vf hg edoswkifr. Dw sleokfrtg asdfgh poiu lk mnbv u lkjhgf weq asd zxcv uyt v erty lkjuiopmn df derftgyhujikolpm sdf wert zxcvbnml sder tgfre kjhgfdsazq awer bdfsdfvvv qawsedrftgh diuerder; uthgyrical ne nbhg iekdofr. I wh ldoelgjt wsed nhytgbvfre cderfvt xisk yn zsrtyuj. I do not have the familial support afforded to some people to allow me the finances to study abroad independently. I rely heavily on scholarships, such as this, to help me capitalize on opportunities and make my aspirations a reality. I was encouraged to try to apply for the scholarships I would need and shown the hurdles I would have to jump through to have the hope of going because at least I would have tried and I grew up ready to overcome my personal hurdles.

My program of choice is CEA & LSBU Hybrid Liberal Arts & Social Sciences program for fall 2017. To graduate, I require three electives and a Criminological Theory class. This program has the exact equivalent of that class. I would be taking two classes at London South Bank University and two classes at CEA London University. The tuition at this school is cheaper than my current at Saint Martin’s University, but I will still need to cover the increased cost of housing in England. I chose the CEA program over IFSA-Butler or a direct transfer because of the school, activities, and security. CEA will be a low maintenance guide for myself and others while in England. The program will cover all the big excursions like The Tower of London, The London Eye, and Stonehenge. Therefore, I can focus on the smaller CJ orientated adventures I want to have alone but with a constant base of support if I need it.

I chose the full ride of CJ classes available at LSBU I am required to take a criminological theory class and since that is of particular interest to me, I also signed up for their gender, crime, and justice course. The course objective of that class is to teach the theory of male and female offending. At CEA London University, I chose the closest class I could to CJ that they offered which is their only sociology class. The class objective would be to teach a historical, sociological, and economic perspective on British youth culture from 1945 to present. Having exhausted my options for CJ and sociology and CEA London University does not offer any psychology classes I chose to enroll in the Photography in London course. To support my goal in the Service Project Proposal I intend on submitting, I chose a class that will help me hone my photography skills while providing direction artistically.

I hope to gain a better understanding and appreciation of a system different from our own. The criminal justice system will be vastly different but also the chance to experience a completely different learning style is something that excites me. I take my educational career extremely seriously and while I can, I would like to be immersed in a new, challenging style of teaching which England would provide. As far as how this will affect my future career within the justice system, it will add a substantial boost to my resume because criminal justice is a fluid moving thing. Our entire system is not static but in a constant flux of change due to public opinion, party orientation at that time, and research. The same is true for all systems and bringing back that kind of unique objectivity into the workplace here would be invaluable to any future career I may have. England will be different enough to foster change we can implement directly without an upheaval of our societal norms. I want to focus on the differences without being deterred daily by language barriers in addition to different informal social control aspects that might hinder what I can bring back. I know that often students are encouraged to choose countries with different languages and drastically different customs in order to broaden their minds the fullest. I do not think that is the best path for me when I intend on studying their system itself while abroad.

As of this morning, February 26, 2017, I lost one of my best friends to suicide. Whoever said that time heals all wounds was correct. With time, my mind protected me and I had healed from losing my brother fourteen years ago. Time will heal this wound as well. Losing another person in my life the same exact way has only cemented my love of criminal justice. The firefighters who fought the flames and recovered one of my dearest friends at considerable risk to themselves are human beings who deserve a better system in support of that sacrifice. I take pride in making the absolute most of opportunities presented to me. I will treat this one no different. Thank you for your consideration.

I think it is important to put yourself out there. I left two horrible things that I dealt with in my life in so that you could see the kind of transparency I included. I took out a few personal things (blacked out). Hopefully when you chose your destination country you had good reason to, that is a very important factor. Just wanting to see a country because it looks fun wouldn’t go over well. Have solid reasons ready. If the country isn’t important to your major, you should rethink your choice.

Gilman wants to know what makes you unique. Diverse in more ways than skin color. First generation student, disabilities, nontraditional, etc. What makes you stand out from the rest? It doesn’t have to be one of those things… maybe you were academically perfect. Maybe you had a moment in your life that changed you and your chosen country is a factor?

Gilman doesn’t work for your university or program. This is national. They want to know what makes your program worthy as well. My best advice is to spill your heart out on the page and then edit it like crazy. Write and write and write. I fought against this because it felt like bragging but I was encouraged to be honest by everyone in my life at the time. It sucked.

Follow-on Service Project Proposal

My proposed project to promote the Gilman Scholarship and international education would be in conjunction with three different Saint Martin’s University internal organizations as well as through a personal blog. I plan to create an international education presentation to complete with the study abroad advisor at my school. I would also create a specific presentation to present myself to the student government body ASSMU. Afterward, I would like to create a special presentation, with help from my fellow criminal justice club members, to promote our criminal justice in comparison to the English system. Finally, I plan to create an extensive fully detailed blog that outlines the process I have taken, including writing essays for scholarships like the Gilman, before, during, and after my trip abroad has concluded. I am already taking notes, making lists, and outlines of what each section of this blog will look like in preparation. I want to be a comforting source of reassurance to those seeking to study abroad. Below, I describe this proposal in more detail.

First, I will promote through the study abroad office itself, presenting to classes with the main advisor, Brenda Burns, who originally inspired me in order to extend a hand out to anyone with even the slightest interest in international education. The presentation will provide my peers with a student perspective of the study abroad process that will supplement her promotion and aid her in the dissemination of required information. I would hope to give them a real example of someone who knows exactly what hurdles that will be surmountable on their journey. The presentation would outline exactly what it takes to go abroad from the perspective of scholarships like the Gilman to personal obstacles and beyond.

Second would be through the Associated Students of Saint Martin’s University (ASSMU) student government. The student government holds weekly meetings that all SMU clubs attend. I have contacted ASSMU and gained support for this presentation idea. I want to give them the tools to promote study abroad through each of their specific academic disciplines. I proposed having a presentation that focused on how each discipline could reap benefits through study abroad, the scholarships available to them, and how each of the club boards can promote the ideas to their members.

Third, I want to perform a presentation with the help of the criminal justice club and the school, displaying what I learned in a comparison perspective while abroad in England. I will have the direct experience to teach our own system while simultaneously promoting the program, comparative criminal justice, and the scholarships like the Gilman, which made it all possible.

Finally, I want to build a website dedicated to my experiences studying abroad and the process getting there. The website would outline how far in advance essays would be needed to be complete for scholarships like the Gilman, but also a step-by-step detailed account of how achieved my goal, my experience there at the schools, how the experience changed me, and how I coped and integrated back into life once home. I will continue as an alumna at my school to complete these presentations as many times as they will let me.

I have made contact with these groups and hope to have the opportunity and experience to provide support to them. As a first generation minority student, I can provide the information to my peers who may require financial assistance, who may be the first in their families to attend higher education, and who may be from a diverse and often under represented group within the school. The project will hopefully impact my home university by supporting the Provost’s goal to eventually have 25% of the student body abroad.

Make sure your follow-on project is unique. I did a blog, this one... actually, which was accepted but I had many additional parts. This project has to be worth something. Focus on how you can promote the Gilman Scholarship, how your major will be involved, and go overboard! Even if you can’t complete parts of them you can promise to TRY to carryout things after you return.If you have any questions please do not hesitate to ask in the comment section below.

Good Luck!
Elle